Are You Married and Fallen for Someone Else?

The institution of marriage is built on love as well as trust. What happens when the foundation of your marriage begins to shake? With time, you may not feel the butterflies in your stomach any longer and it may appear that you are falling out of love. When people experience such feelings, they tend to look for love out of their marriage. Without addressing the real problems of their marriage, people think that a relationship with another person is the solution and start looking for love elsewhere. There are times when a husband or a wife thinks that they have fallen in love with someone else, which is actually nothing but infatuation. Infatuation can be a result of a deep-rooted problem within the marriage. People often do not want to solve these problems. Therefore, they try to concentrate their time and energies on outside avenues. A crush or infatuation tends to take people’s mind off their worries and can give a strange sense of addiction. The more they think about the other person, the lesser they tend to think about their household worries. This gives a false sense of security and happiness with the other man or woman whereas the real problem goes unattended. The infatuation will end eventually and what you will have is only a void that would seem impossible to fill because you will have neither a home nor a spouse to call your own. Life is so easy when we complain, pass off the blame onto each other, and grumble. People who engage in affairs out of marriage start doing so by convincing themselves that they are victims of the marriage. This is nothing but an excuse that helps them overcome the guilt associated with having an affair. Couples can and should engage in effective communication to understand as well as explain the issues bothering them in their marriage. You will be surprised to know how much you can learn about your relationship by communicating effectively. Think about the day you got married to your spouse, the happiness, the excitement, and the implicit promise that you made to always be there for each other. Reflect upon the pain that you will be inflicting on your spouse by even mentioning the idea of a divorce based on your whims and fancies. Your spouse must have stood by you in times of happiness as well as times of crisis. Do you think your new love will be able to do so? Couples create so many memories after marriage. Memories of your vacations spent together, your child’s first steps, and your first home built together. Do you want to let go off all these memories for a decision that can change your life forever? It would make sense to think through this decision. We have outlined a few factors that you should consider before opting out of your marriage.

Factors to Consider before Breaking Ties with Your Family

Make sure that this is what you want. You might have opted for a lover to fill in the gaps of your marriage, but have you allowed your own spouse to do that? There are times when we miss the initial hugging, cuddling or other forms of physical affection. You might expect your spouse to indulge in this behaviour. Firstly, do not hesitate to initiate a behaviour that appeals to you, and secondly, do not hesitate to tell your spouse about your expectations. Marriage does not only mean fun things and intense love-making, but also a wide range of responsibilities. It is possible that these responsibilities have taken a toll on your spouse. Find out a way to work things out.

You are planning to leave your spouse and children for another person. Do you think that the other man or woman will respect you after this decision? How will you provide any sense of security to your new love? It is very natural for your new love to assume that if a marriage or children could not make you stay in a marriage, no relationship would. It takes years to build trust in a relationship. Think about the hard work you have put into your marriage. Do not let this hard work slip away because of a sudden whim.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com

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