Effects of a Messy Divorce

These are contentious issues, yet, majority of the couples patiently work through their differences.

A few, fail to reach an understanding and carry their conflicts to the court room. The long drawn battles financially and emotionally drain the couples. The only person who benefits from such spousal conflict is the divorce solicitor.

Solicitor Benefit in a Messy Divorce

An uncontested divorce in the UK costs around £850 to £2,500. (Non inclusive of value added tax (VAT) and court fee.) These charges are just 1/10th of the divorce costs entailed by hiring a high street solicitor. A divorce lawyer might charge anywhere around £ 500 to £ 1,000. Charges are on an hourly basis and are not inclusive of VAT and other court fee. Couples often end up paying much more than expected, for contested cases are unpredictable.

The high costs are a financial drain and divorcing spouses ultimately pass their hard earned money into the solicitor’s pocket. Neither the spouses nor their children gain from such legal battles.

The time taken to obtain the divorce also gets lengthily stretched. On an average a solicitor might obtain a divorce in a 6 to 8 month period. Uncontested divorces are obtained in 3 to 4 months.

Contested divorces not only increase the time and financial cost of divorce, they also cause undue emotional damage. For, quite frequently court battles incite the already angered spouses into seeking vengeance.

Revenge Motive

It is dangerous when one partner plans to turn divorce proceedings into a way to “teach a lesson” to the other. The vile anger generated by revenge motive compounds the emotional distress of divorce. Divorcing spouses (sometimes egged on by their lawyers) have been known to play dirty divorce tricks.

Vengeance can assume any form. Separating partners are known to have completely withdrawn all money from joint accounts without informing the other. Some have used joint credit cards to make huge purchases. A few spouses have petitioned for sole custodial rights of their children for coercing the other partner into submission or accepting inequitable agreements.

Revenge motives give rise to hard feelings that persist for long in the post divorce period. The aggrieved spouse might always reinitiate legal proceedings, and this causes much financial damage. Such acts heighten conflict levels and in the ensuing verbal duel, annoyed spouses might resort to publicly revealing personal details in the court room.

Revealing Personal Details in the Courtroom

Revealing personal details or making outrageous accusations in the court room might help during the court room proceedings, but it blights the relationship for ever.

The enmity between the marital partners deepens making it impossible to co parent. When the children are not able to maintain proper contact with both the parents, the impact of it damages them for life.

Exposure of personal details of the spouse hardens feelings of hate. This hate percolates down to the extended family also and divorced spouses lose touch with the family members of their ex. Such alienation affects their children too, for the relationship with grandparents, aunts and cousins are also important for proper child development.

Such public humiliation by the spouse who once deeply loved is difficult to accept. It evokes many negative feelings. Pervasiveness of negativity damages all the family members. To prevent such bitterness couples should try to amicably resolve their differences for the benefits of an amicable divorce are many.

Benefits of an Amicable Divorce

• One of the major benefits of an amicable divorce is the reduction in the divorce expenses


• The entire proceedings take place much faster.


• Helps the maintenance of amicable relationships in the post divorce period


• Enable effective co parenting


• Reduces stress levels


• Low stress levels greatly reduce the unfavourable impact of divorce on the children


• Good relationships continue with the extended family members.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk

Article Source: http://www.articleearth.com

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